Mama and Baby go to work...

After impatiently waiting for 4 long months, our persistence has paid off.
I am no longer working at the hospital and Knox (aka SweetBabySilvers) is no longer in daycare. HOWEVER, I am working fulltime. But Knox comes with me. Yes, you read it right. I BRING MY BABY TO WORK WITH ME! Go ahead, take a few minutes and judge the shit out of me...

Take my word for it, this is not for the faint hearted! I spent the first week dying from embarassment everytime he cried while my new boss was in the office. I cried the first day. I CRIED!! It was so overwhelming in the beginning. We've survived two weeks and managed to remain unscathed.

Do I recommend bringing your baby to work with you? Yes, yes and YES!! I won't say that there aren't 15-20 minutes each day where I want to put Knox in his play-yard with a sippy cup and my iPod (currently his two favorite items. EVER!) and go sit in my car for 10 minutes.

Do I recommend starting a nice nightly regimen of Pinot Grigio and Daddy/Baby time each night? Yes!! Because by the time you get home in the evening you have worked 2 full time jobs. . .in 8 hours. Luckily, when it's bedtime this child sleeps like he's getting paid for it!

Do I recommend growing a set of Lady Balls and ignoring what everyone else says about the topic? YES! People have said some very nasty things about my choice. People have, more often than not, been unsupportive and judgemental. They act as if I'm bringing my puppy to work with me (not there is ANYTHING wrong with that). My baby is a human. He is a very small, non-verbal human. He prefers the company of familiar faces, he enjoys HIS toys and HIS Mama. It is not unprofessional. I work hard, I do my work efficiently and with great pride. What can I say? Motherhood makes you a badass.

By the time 5:45-6:00am rolls around I'm ready to start over. I miss him and I'm ready for Mama/Baby time.

I'm working on a Daily Schedule post...It would probably be easier if I actually made efforts to keep each day the same. Ehhh...Yeh, that's pretty much never going to happen ;)

I'm really hoping this new schedule allows for more blogging. Hell, who am I kidding? This new "schedule" is more like a well controlled shit show. 

Cheers!

Wouldn't it be nice?

What's the secret to all of these successful MommyBloggers?
How on earth does it become a source of income? THAT would be a dream job for me.

I'm full of opinions and I LOVE TO SHARE THEM! haha! Sadly, I like to share them whether people want to receive them or not. Sometimes a little controversy makes for good reading. Or alot of internet hating.

There is nothing I would love more than to spend my days at home with this little face and impose my views about life upon the world :)



 It just seems so unattainable! Mainly because I am a chicken. A coward. A grade-a wienie! I'm too big of a scaredy cat to put this newborn blog out there for the world to see. This is post #3. Maybe I should have started sharing at post #1. . .maybe I should wait until post #10?!?

There is just so much that could go wrong. . .what if my friends think I've lost my mind. What if some coo-coo bird stalks my blog to look at pictures of my baby?

BUT! The worst thing I could possibly do is continue to live in fear of the unknown. I am Mama. I have to be fearless. I have to set an example. Right?!

Why can't I be one of those awesome Mama's that has figured out how to make a living by blogging?! I've seen Mama's that have the opportunity to work with cool companies like Pampers, Charmin and Arm & Hammer.

What was that? You think I'm jealous? 

You can bet your ass I'm jealous! Those lucky women get to kick it with their kiddos, try out cool new products andwrite about it. AND make a little dough for doing it!!

Poor, pitiful me. I'm trapped in this hospital, working to pay for daycare (Crazy, huh?) while my husband is at home snuggling our Littlest Buddy on his off day. . .insert thumbs down gesture *here*. This blows.

Thankful

I decided to join in on the "festivities" this year and take part in the Month of Thankfulness on good ol' Facebook.
I started a little late, but I made sure my first post covered the missed days. Whatever.
As the days went by I forgot about the daily posts and went about my business changing diapers and soaking up every, single baby smile I could. Mainly because I knew THE day was coming. Yesterday. The day before Thanksgiving. The day I went back to work. 

I cried all night Tuesday. I rocked my sweet, sleeping baby and stared at his perfect little face while tears streamed down mine. He smiled in his sleep and my heart nearly exploded from the over-cramming of love. It was magnificent.
Wednesday morning, I cried all the way to my In-Laws' house. 

Then I arrived at work. I don't know what I expected. Balloons? Streamers? Hundreds of people standing in neat, orderly lines begging to see pictures of (who I consider to be) the most incredible baby on earth? Everyone was happy to see me, some people did ask to see pictures. A few people had to politely endure me showing them all 400 snap shots on my phone. But, something was different (other than my new, MUCH smaller office). Something didn't feel the same. It took a couple of hours before I realized it was ME. I was different. 

The Littlest Buddy has changed my life, my sense of purpose. Since he arrived nothing else is quite as important as it used to be. He is number one. The head honcho. My time is no longer divided fairly among friends and family. He gets it all, every bit of it. My body is different, it grew a human and brought him into this world. My body feeds that baby every meal, every day. I am usually a hot mess if I'm not going anywhere that day. I have stretchmarks and weird sagging skin on my tummy. Hell, even my belly button is different. 

But these changes all pale in comparison to the changes inside of me. My heart sings a new song. The song of an incredibly lucky woman who has two amazing men in her life. Her husband and their son.

My Facebook Post yesterday:

Day 21: I am thankful for every sleepless night, every stretchmark, every curl that has gone untamed. I am thankful for washing and folding (what seems like) 200 blankets everyday. I am thankful for the heartbroken tears I shed when I left for work this morning. Because without our Littlest Buddy, none of those things would be possible. I am more thankful this year than I have ever been before. That little smushy, personality filled face is the light of our lives. We couldn't breathe without that baby!! 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I hope all of you have more to be thankful for than you can count :)

12 weeks. . .already?!

Our boy is already 12 weeks old. When did this happen? 
It seems like just yesterday that I was doing everything I could to induce labor. I was begging and pleading with our Littlest Buddy to make his debut! Time was my enemy, it moved entirely too slow.

Our first date.         

Now, I'm begging and pleading with him to stop growing, or atleast slow down a little. . .yet again, time is my enemy.

I go back to work in 5 extremely short days. I hate it. HATE IT!
This is my purpose in life. To be this baby's Mama is the reason I was put on this earth. The terror that washes over me when I think of carrying my baby into a building and walking back out without him is unreal.  

I am perfectly aware that I am not the first mama that has gone back to work. I am also aware that he will be "fine" at daycare. However, let me be clear: "Fine" is NOT ok with me. No one will love him like I do, no one will be as understanding as I am when he loses his mind over a wet diaper (and let me assure you, he will!). He is MY boy, MY baby. The "what if's" are enough to drive me crazy. 

What if he doesn't get enough attention? 
What if they don't like him as much as the other babies?
What if, God forbid, they lose their temper with my baby?!?! 

I am the one person in this world who knows all of likes and dislikes. Thankfully, arrangements have been made for next week and he will be with family while I'm at work. So, maybe that will ease the transition a little.

I will leave you with one my FAVORITE pictures of Knoxy-Boy. Matt took this right after bath time when Knox was almost 5 weeks old. 

Oh, that sweet face! I MELT!!